Chasing The Moon
by runner515
Summary: When Olivia finds herself more broken than ever after losing someone she loves, one call flips her life upside down. Will she learn to trust again? Rated T for now.
1. Chapter 1

Chasing The Moon: Chapter 1

Tired. Olivia was tired. Tired of the same routine every single day. Tired of dealing with creeps everyday. Tired of losing people. Just tired. She sighed and stood up. It had been a long day and all she wanted to do was lay in her bed and sleep.

Once she got home, she dropped her keys and purse on her table and went straight to the bathroom. She rested her hands on the edges of the sink and looked at herself. She didn't even recognize the person looking back. What was happening to her, how can one man effect her so much to the point where she doesn't even recognize herself. Who was she to let him? She questioned herself.

She turned the sink on in a robotic movement and washed all of her makeup off. When she was done with that, she shed her clothes and stepped into the shower. The water was burning but she couldn't feel it. She could barely feel anything anymore. She washed her body and hair and then stepped out into the cool air of the bathroom, causing small goosebumps to rise on her arms and legs.

She walked slowly, almost carefully, into her room. She turned her light on and reached into the top drawer of her dresser. She pulled out panties, some black shorts and a NYPD shirt she had borrowed from Elliot years ago. She slipped into the clothes and then searched around for her brush. When she found it, she brushed out her short brunette hair quickly and put it away. She laid down on her bed and snuggled into the fluffy white comforter. That's when Olivia Benson broke.

A sob broke loose and after that, the tears wouldn't stop. They kept coming. She cried into her pillow, trying to muffle the sound. Her heart was broken, and she wasn't sure anyone could really fix it. She cried for over an hour into the lonely emptiness of their- her apartment. She cried because of what happened to Brian, because she still didn't have children, because she was tired of being independent, because she wanted Munch and Cragen back, because she hated the life she had. No matter how many people she helped, it never felt like enough. She was never finished. She was always left alone. She wanted a family, a husband, children. But here she was alone, crying herself to sleep.

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Olivia walked into the precinct. She offered a small smile at Nick, he looked tired. "Are you ok?" She asked him, setting her things down.

"Yeah, just a little tired. Are you ok? You look like hell." Nick told her as he examined her. Her hair was tied up messily, she didn't have as much makeup on as usual, and she looked like she hadn't slept in three days. There was so much pain behind those chocolate brown eyes of hers.

"I'd be lying if I said no, but I'll be fine" She said as she looked at him "Just a little stressed." The cell phone in her purse started ringing and she pulled it out quickly. The quick intake of breath made Nick look up, only to see her as she walked out of the precinct with the phone still ringing in her hand.

She felt as if she could breathe again when she opened the door to the roof. She looked at her missed calls. Was she hallucinating? She felt hot tears roll down her cheek and contemplated calling back. She pressed the redial button and held the phone to her ear.

"Hello."

"Hey." She replied shakily.

"Liv, i'm sorry. Are you ok? You sound like you're crying" He could always tell something was wrong, even though they hadn't seen each other in years.

"Elliot, it's really none of your business. We haven't talked in 3 years, did you forget that?"

"I know. I'm sorry. Can we meet later? Please, Olivia we need to talk." He could tell she was crying, he could hear it through the phone. "Liv, please don't cry. Please."

"Where?" She sniffed, trying to act like she was angry, when this is all she had been waiting for for 3 years. She wanted to hug him so bad. She missed the way he smelled and the way he could understand her even though she hadn't said anything.

"You remember that café we used to go to all the time? What time?"

"Now." She heard him shuffling around for a few moments.

"Ok Liv, I'll be there in 5"

She pressed the end call button and went back down to the precinct.

"Nick, I'll be back soon." Nick looked up at her, there were tears rolling down her face and her eyes were puffy. He thought better of asking about it though. "Ok, come back whenever" He replied.

She almost ran out of the precinct and down the street. The door to the cafe swung open quickly as a busy looking woman stormed out on her phone talking in another language. She reached for the door and walked in. Was she really this stupid? He wasn't even here. Then she felt it. A hand touched her shoulder. She blinked a couple of times to make sure she wasn't really imagining this. This was real. Very real. She felt tears sting her eyes when she heard him say her name.

"Liv" His voiced was so smooth and gentle. She turned around slowly and the second she did, she burst into tears. She felt his strong arms wrap around her quickly. His amazing scent surrounded her.

"Do you want to go outside?" He whispered into her hair. He missed her, everything about her and regretted every leaving SVU as soon as he saw her. Having her in his arms, crying uncontrollably made him realize that. He felt her nod and he let go of her. He wrapped his arm around her, holding her close and ignored the stares that the pair was recieving as they walked out.

"I missed you so much El." She said quietly, almost a whisper.

"I know Liv, I'm so so sorry. I missed you too." She looked so tired. What happened to the strong, independent Olivia he had left here. Her hair was a mess and she had mascara running down her face. Who broke her. He prayed to god it wasn't him.

They found a bench in the park across the street and sat down. He sat down after her and then turned towards her. He reached for her hand that was resting on her thigh and gave it a squeeze. She looked towards him slightly, a small tear made its way down her face. "Where have you been?" She asked him.

He reached up slowly and wiped the tear from her face with his thumb. "I moved to New Jersey with Kathy and Eli but our marriage fell through and I moved back here about a year and a half ago." He told her. He waited for her reaction.

She just sat there, numb. Had he really been in New York for a year and a half? "You never wanted to see me?" She finally said, looking at him in the eyes.

"Olivia, I did. I really did. I was scared to face you. I'm so sorry." Elliot knew it was a lousy excuse but he didn't even know why he never went to see her.

"So what? Do you have some 'Olivia's life sucks right now so I'm gonna go confuse her even more' radar. What the hell Elliot! 3 years! I never heard from you once! Just because you were scared to face me? Really? You should really think about more than just yourself when you decide to just get up and leave! I needed you!" She raised her voice, the anger finally surfacing.

"I was selfish, I wasn't thinking about anyone but myself. Im sorry. I really am. I needed to do it though. I had to try and save my marriage, for Eli. I didn't want to hurt you and you have to understand that please. I can't stand the thought of hurting you." He looked into her eyes. He could tell she was angry, but she also looked sad. "Please. Tell whats wrong?"

She looked away quickly. Scared to look into his gorgeous blue eyes, in fear of forgiving him to easily. She wanted to so badly. "I don't know if I should tell you."

"Olivia please. I wasn't here for a while but I am now. I'm not going anywhere. I'm going to be here for you. I promise." Elliot told her.

"Don't make promises you can't keep Elliot." Olivia told him. She stood up.

He thought she was going to walk away but was surprised when she asked him if he wanted to get something to eat. He stood up quickly and nodded, worried she would change her mind if he took to long.

They walked back to the little café they were are earlier. Olivia choose a small booth to sit at. Their waitress came over a few seconds later. "Just a coffee please" Olivia told the young girl.

"I'll just have water" Elliot told the waitress. Once the waitress left, he looked at Olivia "What happened?" He examined her. She looked a little older, just as gorgeous though. Her lips were so perfect, he wished he could kiss her, feel her soft lips against his and take all of her pain away. He was taken out of the trance when he heard Olivia clear her throat and look away from him.

She noticed that he was staring at her. She cleared her throat when she noticed that he kept staring at her lips. "Do you remember Brian Cassidy?"

Her question caught him off guard "Sure, I remember him" He replied, wondering where this conversation was going.

"We were dating." She stated so simply. "We had a fight one night and he walked out. He got drunk and then got in a bad wreck and died. I'm no longer a detective, I became a Sergeant after Cragen left. Munch also left. I was kidnapped and tortured by a serial killer/rapist." Her eyes were watery as tears threatened to escape.

Elliot took a minute to process all of the information he has just been given. "Olivia. I'm- I'm so sorry." He didn't know what to tell her.

"Elliot, its ok. Don't feel bad for me. I'm going to be fine." She didn't know how much truth was behind those words but the last thing she wanted was for him to feel bad for her.

The waitress brought their drinks by and left quickly, having a feeling she was interrupting an important conversation.

"How long ago did he die?" Elliot asked. Watching her face for her reaction. Nothing. She had her walls up once more.

"About 4 weeks ago." She answered quickly, wanting to move away from the touchy subject. "I missed you." She looked down at her hands that were wrapped tightly around the coffee mug.

"I missed you too." Elliot replied. He reached forward and grabbed one of her hands. They were soft. "Olivia. Please trust me again."

She replied with a quiet "Ok" and then took a sip of coffee.

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Continue? Is it good? Please review! They are much appreciated!


	2. Chapter 2

Chasing The Moon: Chapter 2

A/N: None of the characters belong to me!(: Enjoy!

It had been a week since Olivia and Elliot had talked. She sighed as she read the witness report from a sexual assault/murder investigation and ran her fingers through her silky brown hair. She glanced at the clock hanging on the wall, only 1 more hour until she could leave.

"Got somewhere to be?" Nick asked Olivia, noticing that she kept looking up at the clock.

"Yes actually. I do" She replied with a smirk.

"You know, time tends to go slower when you're watching it." Nick laughed, noticing she was tapping her heel on the floor lightly.

She closed the folder of papers she was looking at and looked at him "Yes, I know" She smiled at him and stood up "Hey guys, go home. We did as much as we can today. I'll see you all tomorrow" She told the squad as she shrugged her jacket on.

"Bye Liv." Nick told her as he watched her walk out of the precinct.

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Olivia looked at herself in her full length mirror. She admired the way her midnight blue dress hugged her curves perfectly. She picked up a simple but beautiful diamond necklace Brian had bought her last valentines day and put it on. She slipped into her black heels as she heard a knock on the door. She checked herself in the mirror one more time and walked down the hallway and to the front door. She opened the door and allowed Elliot to come into her home for a moment.

Her eyes skimmed over his muscular body. He looked amazing in that suit "You look great" She told him as she smiled quickly.

"I would tell you the same but great wouldn't even begin to describe how amazing you look." Elliot told her. Her dress looked like it was made just for her. Her silky brown hair framed her face perfectly and her legs. God her legs. She was a goddess.

Olivia felt her face heat up and looked at her feet "Ready?" She asked him.

"Yeah, did you text Alex?" Elliot asked her.

"Yeah, I got a hold of her this morning" Olivia decided it would be a good idea to have a SVU reunion. Cragen, Munch, Alex, Fin, Elliot, and herself would be there. They all decided on a fancy little steak house.

During the drive there was little conversation. Olivia lost herself in her thoughts every once in a while. "What are you thinking about Liv?" Elliot asked, glancing over at her. She was looking out the window sadly.

"Everything" Olivia looked at him. Her hand went straight up to the necklace on her neck. A hot tear rolled down her cheek and she squeezed her eyes shut. "I'm sorry El"

Elliot parked the car in the closest spot he could find so he could talk to her. He rubbed her arm "Liv, everything is gonna be alright. You can get through this. I know its hard, but you're strong. You can do this" He pulled her into a hug, she felt so small in his arms, not the Olivia he knew.

"I'm not sure I can be strong any longer." Olivia cried into his shoulder. She felt his hand rubbing circles on her back, trying his best to calm her down.

He grabbed her upper arms and pulled himself away from her so that he could look at her in the eyes. His hands came up to her face and he wiped tears away with his thumbs "I'm here for you Liv, you know that. I'm going to help you through all of this. Okay?"

She felt his hands cup her face. "Thank you El." She whispered.

Elliot let his hands drop from her face and grabbed the steering wheel. It took all he had to convince himself not to kiss her. He could never do that to her though, she was already confused enough. He turned the key in the ignition and manuevered the car out of the tight parking spot. They drove in silence the rest of the way there.

Elliot parallel parked the car across the street from the steak house "Ready?" He asked.

"Um.. yeah" Olivia told him. He stepped out of the car and Olivia took the few seconds she was alone to compose herself. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She was angry at herself for not being able to control her emotions lately. She heard the door click open and she stepped out.

They walked together into the restaurant. "Welcome! How many?" One of the two young women at the front desk asked.

"Six" Elliot told the blonde woman. He looked over at Olivia, she looked so unsure. He reached down and grabbed her hand. He gave it a light squeeze.

"Follow me please" The woman said and she started to walk towards the dining area.

Elliot led Olivia to the booth. He slid in first and she slid in next to him. He decided to leave any touchy subjects alone. "What time did they say they would be here?"

Olivia checked her phone, it was 8:54. "I told them 9." As soon as she said it, Don and Munch walked in. Elliot raised his hand to tell them where they were.

"Hey guys!" Don said as he slid into the seat across from them "Elliot, long time no see!"

"Hey Don!" Elliot said "What have you been up to?"

Munch sat down in the booth next to Olivia. Soon after, Alex and Fin arrived. They carried on light conversation for the next hour and a half until everyone decided it was time to get home.

Elliot payed his and Olivia's bill and then walked outside. "Wanna go for a walk?" He asked, looking over at her.

She laughed a little "To where?" She asked as she crossed her arms

"Anywhere" He stuck his hands in his pockets.

"Ok." She smiled at him. He looked so relaxed and at ease. Maybe it was a good thing he left SVU. "What's the real reason you never came and saw me?" She noticed how he immediatly tensed up "No.. you know... Nevermind, you're here now"

He took a deep breath, he knew she would ask about it again sooner or later. "No, Liv you deserve an answer." He told her, he could see her looking at him out of the corner of his eyes but didn't look at her. "It's difficult..." He stopped walking and faced her "I was scared of falling in love with you again. I called you because I need you. Nothing was the same without you Liv. I can't function properly without you. When I'm with you, everything makes sense.." He said quickly

Olivia took a deep breath. The world around her was spinning. Did Elliot Stabler just tell her he loved her? Was she misinterpreting what he was saying?

"Liv. Are you ok? You look pale." He grabbed her arms "I'm sorry Liv, please talk to me, whats wrong?"

Her mouth was so dry suddenly. She heard him talking but everything was so quiet. She wasn't expecting that answer. It was like a punch to the gut. Her stomach was hurting, dinner threatening to reappear. "I'm broken.. you don't want me.." She managed to say, her voice was raspy.

"That's the thing Liv. I do want you. Broken or not, you're still the Olivia I fell in love with years ago" Elliot told her. He still hadn't let go of her arms.

She pulled away from him quickly "No I'm not Elliot! Don't you see me? I've changed and so have you! You left me! Don't you remember that? If you loved me, you wouldn't have left. People who love each other don't stop talking for three years. I really just can't deal with all of this right now. Elliot, just leave me alone." She screamed at him, earning curious looks from the people around them. Tears were falling down her face. She gave him one last look before turning around and walking away from him.

She hailed a cab after walking down the sidewalk a couple of blocks. Once she was inside she told the cab driver her street. She sniffed, causing the cab driver to look in the rear view mirror "Rough night?" the dark haired, middle aged man asked.

"Yeah" She whispered, not recognizing her own voice. She rested her elbows on her thighs and put her head in her hands. Her body shook with sobs. She couldn't make herself stop crying.

"We're here ma'am." The driver said as he parked the car in front of her apartment building.

Olivia dug through her purse "How much?" She asked quietly.

"Don't worry about it." He told her, offering a small smile.

Olivia looked at him sadly "Thank you..."

She climbed out of the car and into her apartment building.

Olivia unlocked the front door to her apartment and walked in. She felt numb all over. She closed and locked her door and pressed her back against it. She slid down until she was sitting with her knees pressed to her chest, probably one of the most unflattering ways to sit in a dress. Breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, she had to keep reminding herself. This wasn't who she was. She wasn't supposed to be the woman who came home and cried every night, but that's the woman she had become.. and she hated it.

She hated Elliot too. He wasn't allowed to just appear and then a week later tell her that he loved her. It wasn't fair. It was confusing. He left her alone for 3 years. If he loved her, he wouldn't have done that. She used to love him. But that was before he left and before her and Brian got involved. But now Brian was dead and Elliot was back confessing how much he loved her. She was just confused more than anything.

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The next morning she was woken up by her alarm. She groaned and hit around on her desk for a moment before finally hitting the snooze button. She embraced the warmth and comfort of her bed before she had to get up. She thought about just taking a day off, but she couldn't. She had a squad to take care of.

She got up, goosebumps covered her body immediately as she made her way to the bathroom. She looked in the mirror, hating what she saw. She didn't look like herself. She turned her shower on and slipped out of the large t-shirt she was wearing.

40 minutes later she was walking down the stairs of her apartment building on a mission to get coffee. She stopped at a small coffee shop at the corner of the street, ordered her coffee, and then went to the precinct for another long day.


	3. Chapter 3

hasing The Moon: Chapter 3

A/N: Sorry guys! I was suffering from writers block but I finally figured everything out! I hope you like it!(: No characters belong to me, sadly!

Elliot stayed in his apartment most of the next day. He kept replaying the whole scene in his head. How could he be so stupid? She hated him now and it wad all because he couldn't just be quiet about it. Of all the times he chose to speak about his feelings, it had to be now.

He remembered the way she looked at him when he told her. Her chocolate brown eyes glistened with tears. He never meant to make her cry. He hated seeing her cry. He stood up slowly and made his way around his small apartment and reached into a small closet, looking for his navy blue hoodie. He grabbed it and pulled it on over his head as he walked out the door.

He walked down the sidewalk. He stuffed his hands in his pockets as he looked for the closest bar. He found a small one a couple blocks down. The door squeaked open and he walked in. There were a couple other men inside. He sat down at the bar and asked for a beer.

6 beers later, Elliot was talking to a short, balding man named Phil about Olivia.

"Call her man" Phil told him after listening to him talk about this woman he loved so much for an hour. Elliot had told him their story from beginning to end and he was still going on.

"I can't.. its not that easy. She's angry at me." Elliot told him as he looked at his hands.

"You need to talk to her. You can't just ignore everything that has happened and try to forget it." Phil told him.

"I can't..." Elliot muttered as he placed his head in his hands "She already hates me, there's no point."

"You never know unless you try, Elliot" Phil said after he took a sip of beer.

Elliot stood up almost to quickly and stumbled backwards for a moment before catching himself. "See you later Phil" he mumbled as he walked slowly out of the bar and down the street.

He kept walking, not sure where he was going. He spent most of the day by himself, walking and taking cabs around the city. He walked until his legs got tired. He found himself standing outside of Olivia's apartment around midnight, contemplating wether he wanted to wake her up or not. He decided against it and sat down on the steps in front of her building. He put his head in his hands and started crying. He rarely cried, but he was drunk and the woman he loved probably hated him.

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Olivia tossed and turned in her bed. Sleep seemed impossible right now. Everything that there was to worry about was running through her mind. She bunched up the blanket and pulled it closer to her. Her clock read 12:14am. Only 6 hours until she had to be up for work. She got out of bed and turned her bedside lamp on. Sleep was not coming easily tonight.

She rubbed her eyes sleepily and walked to her kitchen slowly. She flipped the light on and blinked as her eyes adjusted to the light. The smell of coffee filled the apartment as she stood on the tips of her toes to reach the cabinet where her mugs were. She grabbed the one closest to the edge and filled it with coffee once it was finished.

Her mind wandered as she sipped from the mug. She jumped when she heard a knock on her door and set her coffee down. She waited a few moments until the knock came again. Who was here at 12 in the morning? She walked over carefully and grabbed her gun out of the coffee table drawer.

"Who is it?" She asked cautiously.

"Liv.. it's me. It's Elliot" He heard the door unlock. The smell of coffee and the faint smell of alcohol mixed as she opened the door.

"It's midnight and i'm not in the mood to talk to you" She told him quickly, as she started to close the door again.

He put his hand on the door and couldn't help but notice the gun in her hand "Liv, we need to talk."

"Not right now we don't. Leave Elliot." She told him angrily. She tried to close the door again but he wouldn't let her.

"Please listen..." Elliot told her, he watched her shift her weight from one foot to the other.

She looked at him for a moment with a straight face "10 Minutes." She told him as she walked away from her door. She set the gun back in the drawer and walked into the small living room.

Elliot walked in and closed the door quietly "Liv. Im sorry. I shouldn't have told you that after everything that has happened but I didn't want to lie to you. You don't deserve that."

Olivia looked at him for a moment before speaking "Elliot.. I just don't think I can handle all of this right now.. It wouldn't be fair to you."

"I just want you to know that I'm sorry for a lot of things. But I am not sorry that I fell in love with you." Elliot told her. He watched as her eyes filled up with tears.

"Why do I always cry around you?" She laughed a little as she wiped tears from her eyes.

Elliot smiled a little "Because I'm an ass?"

Olivia laughed again "Only sometimes." She was angry at herself for being able to forgive him so easily, but whether she wanted to or not, she loved him to.

They both laughed for a few seconds and then it was quiet. Elliot looked at Olivia, she looked so beautiful, even though she also looked tired. He brought his hand to her face and stepped closer to her. Only a few inches seperated them. He could

Olivia was pretty sure he could hear her heart beating. She felt his hand touch her face gently as she glanced at his lips for a moment before looking back into his crystal blue eyes. She couldn't believe this was happening. Was Elliot Stabler about to kiss her? Was she going to let him? She took a deep breath as he stepped even closer and his hands dropped to her waist. She brought her hands to his neck. She smiled slightly at the fact that his heart was beating just as fast as hers.

He watched as a small smile spread across her face. He leaned towards her slightly and brushed his lips against hers. Her lips were soft against his slightly chapped ones.

Olivia's eyes fluttered shut as he deepend the kiss. She felt herself being pulled closer to him and she wrapped her arms tighter around his neck. She felt his tounge against her lips asking for the entrance that she allowed. She could taste the slight flavor of alcohol.

The kiss ended when the need for oxygen overpowered their desire. Olivia smiled as she was wrapped into a warm hug. She looked up at him, he was smiling.

"I love your smile" Olivia whispered.

Elliot laughed and leaned down to kiss her again. This kiss was rougher than the first. They eventually made their way to the couch. Olivia fell down onto it first and Elliot leaned on top of her, using his arms to support himself, not even breaking the kiss.

"Wait, El" Olivia whispered, out of breath.

Elliot sat up and gave her room. He watched as she got up and walked to the kitchen. She flipped the light off and walked back over to him.

Olivia straddled him and smiled as she felt his hands on her hips. She leaned towards him and they kissed passionately.

Elliot held onto her hips as they kissed. She pulled away after a while and they just looked at eachother.

"You're so beautiful Liv" Elliot told her. He watched as she smiled and looked down. He placed his hand under her chin and she looked up "You really are"

Olivia brought her hand up to his face and kissed him gently. She felt his hands make their way under her shirt. His touch left her skin burning and wanting more. She had never felt this way with anyone else. His mouth only left hers once when he raised her shirt over her head, revealing her neon pink sports bra.

Elliot admired her for a minute before kissing her again, rougher this time. His ran his hands up her sides, feeling small goosebumps rise and her smile against his kiss.

Olivia pulled away and looked at him "El. Can we go in my room?"

Elliot nodded as she stood up. He watched as she disappeared down the hallway and then stood up and followed her. He walked into her room to find her yawning "You tired?"

"Yeah" Olivia said with a laugh. She layed down "Come here El."

Elliot walked over to her bed. He took off his sweatshirt and layed down next to her. Her bed was so comfortable.

Olivia scooted closer to him. She wrapped her arm around his chest as he wrapped his arm around her body. A few minutes later, they were both asleep soundly.

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Olivia woke up to the sound of her alarm beeping obnoxiously. She groaned and started to move to turn it off. She jumped when she felt an arm around her and the memories of last night replayed im her head. She watched as he started to wake up too. Olivia wiggled out of his grip and turned the alarm off quickly. She got out of bed and walked to her bathroom. Once she was in the bathroom, she laughed at her reflection, glad she had escaped her room before Elliot had seen her.

She took a quick shower. When she got out, the smell of breakfast filled her nose. Her stomach growled immediatly as a reaction to the smell. She got dressed quickly and walked out into her kitchen. A smile spread across her face when she saw a shirtless Elliot making omelettes. "El, you didn't have to." She told him.

"I wanted to." Elliot told her as he slid an omelette onto a plate "Here you go beautiful"

Olivia blushed and took the plate from him. She sat down at the table and started eating. "God, El these are amazing. When did you learn to make these?" She told him.

"I had a lot of free time" Elliot told her as he slid his omelette onto his plate. He sat down next to her and started eating.

They both finished eating and Elliot cleaned the kitchen quickly.

Olivia sighed as he wrapped her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. She groaned when her phone started to ring "That's probably work." She muttered as she pulled out of his arms.

He watched as she rummaged around in her purse for a minute before locating the phone. She answered it

"Benson" She paused waiting for the reply "I'll be there in a minute Nick." She hung up and looked at Elliot.

"I know. Duty calls" Elliot said with a smirk. He walked over to her and kissed her. "Have a good day at work, be safe."

Olivia smiled and kissed him again "Thank you." She grabbed her purse and opened the door, giving Elliot one last smile before closing the door.

A/N: All will not be perfect for Elliot and Olivia for long! Please review, all are appreciated! I hope you all had a great Valentines day btw!(:


	4. Chapter 4

Chasing the Moon: Chapter 4

A/N: I hope you like this chapter! New SVU tonight yay! No characters are mine :(

Olivia tapped her fingers on the steering wheel as she drove down the road. Three 6 year old boys had been kidnapped in the span of 7 hours and she was on her way to talk to the parents of the most recent missing boy. She took a deep breath, these cases always got to her.

"Liv?" Nick asked as he watched her. He could tell she was worried, everyone was when it came to kid cases.

Olivia glanced over at him quickly but drew her eyes back to the road "Yeah?"

"We're gonna find them" He assured her.

Olivia parked the car outside the boys house and got out of the car. She walked towards the door and knocked. She waited a minute and knocked again "Where are they?" She asked, looking at Nick.

Nick shrugged and knocked again "Mr and Mrs Williams! Its Detective Nick Amaro and Sergeant Benson. We need to talk to you!" He yelled.

Olivia heard a door slam and a scream "Open the door Nick!"

Nick drew his gun and busted the door open "Mr and Mrs Williams!" He screamed as he cleared the living room.

Olivia found a closed door "Nick! Come here!"

Nick rushed over to where she was. He reached for the door handle and swung the door open. His hand went straight to his mouth and he backed up. The bodies of Mr. and Mrs. Williams lay dead on the ground, blood still gushing out of their necks.

Olivia felt light headed. The smell of blood filled her nose. She looked around the room, the window was open "Nick go look outside for the perp, he couldn't have gone to far unless he had a car."

Nick nodded, not objecting her offer and ran out of the front door. He had gotten a little past the front yard when he heard Olivia scream. Everything seemed to go in slow motion, "OLIVIA!" He screamed for her as he bounded up the front stairs of the house.

"NICk!"

He followed the direction of her voice the second he heard it. He opened the basement door and pulled his gun out quickly "Liv! Where are you?"

"She's down here Detective Amaro" The voice of a man said, eerily calm.

Nick took a couple steps down the stairs into the dim light. He didn't recognize the man, but he was tall, thin, and loosing hair. Olivia looked terrified, she was crying, the mans hand was over her mouth and he had a knife to her neck.

"I've heard quite a bit about you Detective. You can cause quite a bit of trouble sometimes" The man said as he watched Nick descend the steps a little bit further "Aw come on now. I didn't bring myself a gun, this isn't a fair fight"

Nick watched Olivia squeeze her eyes shut "Who are you?"

"She's never told you about me?" He asked "My name is Dr. Lindstrom. I'm Olivia's therapist."

Nick tightened the grip on his gun "Did you kidnap those boys?"

"Detective, you're very bad at observing."

Nick looked around, he noticed the three boys sitting in the darkest corner of the room, tied together. One of the boys looked dead. "Were Mr and Mrs Williams a part of this?"

"I think I've answered enough questions for now. It's time for you to answer some." Dr. Lindstrom said.

Nick shook his head "No, I'm not telling you anything."

"Come on Nick. I'm a pretty trustworthy guy. I know all of Olivia's secrets, she trusts me" He said.

"Let go of her!" Nick said, getting fed up with this guy.

Dr. Lindstrom pulled his hand away from Olivia's mouth and ran his fingers through her hair "You wouldn't want me to hurt her would you?"

Olivia took a deep breath. This was it, it was now or never. She elbowed him in the groin and pulled out of his reach before his knife could injure her. She backed up so that she was next to Nick.

"Drop the knife Dr.!" Nick yelled.

Dr. Lindstrom just stared at Nick for a moment. He dropped the knife and lifted his hands above his head and laughed.

Nick walked towards him, slapped cuffs on his hands, and checked him for other weapons.

A while later, Olivia and Nick sitting in the back of an ambulance. She had a small cut on her throat but nothing major. She watched as people rushed around and parents got reunited with their children. The dead boy had been Jason Williams. "Liv!" The sound of Elliots voice snapped her out of her thoughts. She looked at him with glassy eyes.

"Liv, are you ok?" Elliot asked as he reached her. He watched her face for any emotion but all he got in return was a small nod.

Elliot stepped closer to her and wrapped his arms protectively around her in a warm embrace. He felt her smaller arms reach around his back to return the hug and her body relax almost immediately.

"How did you know I was here" She asked as she breathed in his scent. She felt safe, secure, and loved. The motion of his hand going up and down her back was enough to put her to sleep. She couldn't help but think that this would be so much more comfortable if they were in bed.

"Fin called" She felt his lips move against the top of her head. The sound of footsteps coming towards them brought her out of her thoughts. She pulled away from Elliot unwillingly and looked at the person who was approaching.

"Liv. Nick. Another boy has just been kidnapped." Amanda told them quickly. "His name is Cameron Long, he is 6. He was at the park with his friends and parents and they were playing Hide and Go Seek. Except no one ever found him."

Olivia took a deep breath and forced herself to stand. Tiredness weighed down her body as she turned towards Elliot "I'll see you later?" She gave him a quick hug.

"Yeah." He whispered as he returned her hug. "Be careful" He added as she walked away.

Nick watched the exchange between the former partners as they mumbled to each other and decided he would ask about it on the way back to the precinct. "Liv, I'll drive" He told her.

Olivia nodded and tossed him the keys. They both got into the car.

"So, you and Elliot?" Nick asked, breaking the silence of the car ride.

Olivia looked over at him "Yeah." A simple answer was all he wanted, right? She played with one of the snags on the seat of the car.

Nick nodded "Good for you" He pulled up to the precinct and parked. Olivia was out of the car before he could even turn the engine off. He jumped out of the car "Liv! Wait up" He jogged to catch up with her. When he reached her, her face was wiped of any color, she looked horrible.

"Now really isn't a good time Nick." She continued to walk at the same pace until she was outside of the ladies restroom. She pushed open the door quickly, leaving Nick standing in the hallway clueless. She fumbled with the lock on the stall door for a second before giving up. She leaned down as she emptied the contents of her stomach into the toilet. When she was done, she flushed the toilet and sat down with her back against the stall door. All she could do to stop the tears from falling was take deep, controlled breaths.

Nick paced nervously outside of the bathroom. Five minutes passed, then ten. He knocked on the door "Olivia?" He called.

Nick's voice broke her thoughts and used every bit of energy she had left to stand and walk to the sink. She rinsed her mouth out and wiped her face off with a wet paper towel. When she opened the door, a very worried Nick was there to greet her.

"Liv, are you alright? You can go home, Fin, Amanda, and I can do this" Nick said quickly. Her face had some color now, but not much, and she looked tired.

"I'm fine. That little kid needs all of us." Olivia told him, suddenly getting very light headed. The world started to spin and her legs felt weaker than ever "I just... need to sit... down" She felt Nick's arm wrap around her body as he led her to a bench slowly.

"Liv, you need to go to the hospital." Nick told her. Suddenly he was caught off guard as her body collapsed next to him "Somebody call a bus!" Nick yelled.

Olivia heard him talking, and next, everything was black. She was out.

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The light snoring from beside her was the first thing she heard. The events of earlier that day rushed back into her mind. She opened her eyes to the harsh light of the hospital room and looked over towards the quiet snoring. Elliot was laying on the way to small couch in the room. She couldn't help but smile at the sight. She looked around the room some more, her eyes falling on all of the IV's she was hooked up to.

"El?" She said quietly at first but raised her voice a little the next time she said it. She watched as he woke out of his sleep and looked over towards her. She smiled slightly at him as he got up and walked over.

The bed dipped down when he sat on it "Good morning sunshine. I'm glad you're okay" He told her.

Olivia reached for his hand and held it in hers "What time is it?"

Elliot glanced at his watch "4:35am"

"Come here." Olivia whispered.

Elliot scooted close to her and leaned down slightly. He felt her hand reach around the back of his head and pull him closer to her face and he placed his right hand to the other side to support himself. He brought his left hand up to her face and watched as her lips parted ever so slightly. He closed his eyes when he felt their lips connect. Their lips moved perfectly in sync with each other. He loved the way she kissed, it was gentle with just enough passion. He could feel her other hand gripping the front of his shirt. He broke the kiss to take a quick breath and rested his forehead against hers. He opened his eyes to see her eyes still closed for a moment before opening them. Elliot tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and took a deep breath before leaning towards her again.

She couldn't help but smile when his lips touched hers for the second time that morning. She felt him smile too and she couldn't help but giggle. His lips descended upon hers once again. She grazed his bottom lip with her tounge, he allowed the entrance almost immediately. Her hand gripped the front of his shirt tighter, wrinkling it. She couldn't help but let out a small moan. She wished she could kiss him for the rest of her life. Every kiss felt like it was the first time their lips touched and she loved it.

He ran his fingers through her hair. The feeling of Olivia's tounge exploring his mouth was exhilarating. He felt her pull away after a while for air, which he also desperately needed. After taking a couple breaths, he sat up. His arm was tingling from holding himself up the whole time.

"God Liv" Elliot laughed.

Olivia laughed and smiled "I could say the same to you El. When do I get out of here?" She asked.

Elliot couldn't help but smile again "I can go get a nurse and we could ask her?" he asked.

"Okay." She told him as she bit her bottom lip.

Elliot stood up and stretched "I'll be right back" He said as he walked out of the room.

The kisses they just shared kept replaying in her mind. He was so passionate and loving when he kissed. Love. The word scared her to no end. She was scared to admit it, but she did love him. Her thoughts were interrupted when Elliot walked in followed by a short, thin, older woman.

"Hello Ms. Benson. Its nice to see you awake" The nurse told her as she checked all of the machines "You passed out because you were dehydrated and stress probably had something to do with it. I'm going to release you in a few minutes, if all of your vitals are good."

Olivia nodded "Ok, thank you." she said.

The woman left and came back 10 minutes later with papers Olivia needed to sign. She signed them while the nurse took out the IV's. "Okay Ms. Benson. You're good to go!"

Olivia sat up in the bed and swung her legs over the side "El, where are my clothes?"

Elliot reached over to a bag on the floor and handed it to her "Here you go. I brought you new ones" He watched as she stood up, the small slit in the side of her hospital gown revealed a lacy black bra and panties.

"Checking me out in a hospital gown Stabler?" She laughed as she glanced over at him.

He felt his face get hot "Uh. Maybe."

Olivia laughed and brought her things to the bathroom. She got changed quickly "Lets go."

Elliot stood up and followed Olivia out of the door. He reached over and grabbed the bag for her so she wouldn't have to carry them and with the other hand, he reached down and grabbed hers.

The car ride home was filled with comfortable conversation.

"Exciting day?" Elliot asked, keeping his eyes on the road.

Olivia nodded "Yeah.. the guy was my therapist. The person I told everything to"

Elliot squeezed her hand "I'm sorry Liv"

She looked over at him "El.. it's not your fault."

Elliot nodded and pulled into a parking space outside of her apartment building. He sighed and turned the car off "Liv.. what are we?" He asked. It was starting to rain outside.

"I don't know" Olivia replied in barely a whisper.

Elliot grabbed her hand "I'd like to be more.. I don't know if that's what you want though." He said quietly.

Olivia thought for a moment, not making eye contact with him "I want to try."

Elliot wasn't sure he believed his ears at first. He wasn't expecting her to say that at all. A smile spread across his face and he brought his hand to her face. His blue eyes met her chocolate brown ones as she leaned towards him. The kiss they shared was long and gentle.

"El, do you want to come in?" Olivia whispered when she pulled away.

Elliot nodded "Yeah"

They both got out of the car and walked up to the front of her apartment building. Olivia yawned, it was now 5:54am "I'm so tired" she said.

Elliot wrapped his arm around her shoulders as they walked into the elevator. He pressed the number 3 button "Me too. Oh yeah, Nick told me to tell you that they can handle the case tomorrow. So you have the day off"

Olivia nodded and leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. The door clicked open when they reached her floor.

Olivia stood up reluctantly and they both walked down the small hallway together. She unlocked the door and walked in first, Elliot followed her. The first thing she did was walk to her room "You need pajamas?" she called to Elliot.

Elliot followed her down the hallway "Yeah" He leaned against the door frame and watched her dig through her drawers.

Olivia grabbed a big shirt out for herself and a pair of long pajama pants for Elliot. She tossed them to Elliot and started taking her pants off, at this point she didn't care if he saw her. After taking her pants off she took her shirt off and put the big pajama shirt on.

Elliot stole glances at Olivia as he changed into the pajama pants also.

"Do you need a shirt?" He heard her soft voice speak up.

"No, its ok." He replied, watching as she nodded and walked into her bathroom. He followed her in, happy when she pulled a package of toothbrushes out of the small linen closet she had in there. She handed one to him and they both brushed their teeth. Olivia was the first one to reach the sheets. She snuggled into them and patted the bed next to her "Come on El"

Elliot laughed and climbed into bed next to her. He felt her arm wrap around his stomach and he wrapped his arm around her body. She rested her head on his should and tangled their legs together "Goodnight Liv" he whispered.

"Goodnight El" She answered back quietly. They both fell asleep to the sound of each others breathing.

xxxxxxxxxxxx

was the first thing she did when she felt the bed next to her was empty. She swung her feet over the side of the bed and walked out of her room "Elliot?" she called. There was no answer. She entered her kitchen and saw a note on the table 'Sorry Liv... -El'. She looked at the clock on her oven. 1:32pm. She felt tears spring to her eyes. How could he do this? Why would he just leave her? Her legs suddenly felt like they couldn't hold her any longer and she sat on the floor of the kitchen. The tears fell and she crumpled up the note and threw it as far as the small paper would go. A loud sob broke loose and she buried her face in her hands. Everything had been going so well. She had finally convinced herself that it was ok to fall for him. A curse escaped her mouth as she thought about how stupid she was.

"Olivia! Liv!" She heard someone screaming.

The next she knew, she was laying in her bed, staring up into Elliot's blue eyes. A nightmare. Thats all it was. It took her a moment to register the fact that she had tears streaming down her face.

"Liv? Are you alright? You're crying" Elliot said as he wrapped her in his warm arms. He felt her body shaking with sobs.

Olivia couldn't hold it in anymore "El I thought you left me" she whimpered between sobs.

"Liv, I'll never leave you" He whispered reassuringly.

Olivia felt him rubbing her back up and down. She composed herself slightly before pulling away from him. The next think she knew was that she was crashing her lips against his, catching him off guard. He recovered quickly and kissed her back with just as much force. Olivia pulled away slightly so she could adjust the way she was sitting. She straddled him and leaned back down to kiss him again. The feeling of his hands under her shirt, resting on her hips gave her goosebumps. The tug of her shirt got her attention and she separated once more so he could lift the shirt over her head. He admired her lace covered breasts for a second before Olivia captured his lips again. Elliot turned them around so that she was under him. His lips connected with the sensitive spot just below her ear while her hands tugged at his pants. He nipped the sensitive skin while his hands roamed her chest and she replied immediately with a moan.

He felt his pants being pulled down and stopped what he was doing to quickly assist her. Once the pants were out of the way, their mouths connected once more. Olivia sat up slightly and unhooked her bra in one swift movement. Elliot reached for her panties to pull them off, which he did quickly "You're so beautiful Olivia" he whisper huskily. Olivia grabbed the band of his boxers and pulled them down too so they were both completely naked. He kissed and sucked on her neck, leaving a mark. The next thing Olivia knew, Elliot was in her. There was definitely no go back now, not that she wanted to.

A/N: Ahhh surprise! Sorry this was late, I have been so busy with friend drama, track, and school. I hope this was worth it?(: Please review! (:


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